i'll be the one (if you want me to)
by khaleessiya
Summary: When Damon comes back from the prison world, he isn't alone. With a fatally wounded Bonnie at his side, healing her with his blood is a natural course of action. One that has devastating results when the also newly freed Kai seizes the opportunity to drain her of magic, killing her in the process. (Season 6 rewrite; eventual Bamon/Steroline)


**CHAPTER ONE**

* * *

Across from her, the ascendant is _almost_ in the right spot. All Bonnie has to do is make it to the light, use her magic to bring Damon to her, and then they can go home. Be free of this place and Kai, leaving him behind without magic and no way to free himself from the prison world. The only problem with this scenario is that the more she moves, the more out of breath she feels, the pain radiating throughout her torso from the point where the arrow pierced her.

Being the Anchor has made it so Bonnie is familiar with pain, agonizing pain that often made her want to die rather than continue to live through it, but this is different. This is the kind of pain that lets her know she _is_ dying, and there's nothing she can do to stop it.

Taking a deep breath, she pauses in her crawl toward the ascendant, taking stock of the situation, feeling hopeless. Tears fill her eyes as she inches forward a little more, trying to see if she can do it, if she can get there before Kai notices what she's doing. Thankfully, his fight with Damon is keeping him preoccupied. Even so, it's almost too much, and she thinks she might pass out from the pain before she can make it.

Yet somehow she does, her fingertips grazing the edge of the ascendant as pain overwhelms her, causing her to squeeze her eyes closed, a gasp coming out of her.

"Bonnie," Damon says suddenly, grunting as Kai does something to him she can't see, "Get… out of here."

It would be so simple for her to leave without him. She's already made it to the circle of light, all she would have to do is grab the ascendant and she'd be home. But she can't leave without him, not with everything they've been through together here. It takes all of her strength to focus on the spell and the words she needs to say in order to drag him toward her with magic. The effort causes her to feel light headed, and Bonnie tastes blood in her mouth from the trickle that comes out of her nose at the exertion.

Then, Damon is there suddenly, and that's all that matters, even if she dies. And she's pretty sure she's going to. Soon. But at least he'll make it back home to Elena and Stefan. At least he'll be free.

Grasping Damon's arm, she doesn't notice Kai at first, not until it's too late and her hand has already closed on the ascendant, bringing it into the light. Only then does she realize that when she'd pulled Damon toward her, she'd brought Kai with him, the three of them standing in the circle from the eclipse as the mechanism in her hand twists, clicking as it does. In the blink of an eye, Kai has latched onto her arm and she feels her magic draining out of her and into him as the light around them brightens blindingly.

Squeezing her eyes shut does nothing to stop it from hurting, though Bonnie isn't sure if that's because of the actual light or because she's so weak from loss of blood and the fact that Kai is bringing her closer and closer to death with every second that passes. Just as she's about to lose consciousness, Kai's hand is ripped off her arm as he's thrown across the now dark cavern around them by Damon.

"I thought I told you not to ever lay a hand on her again," his words are like steel, but when he touches Bonnie his hands are gentle, cradling her face as he takes in her condition. She must look as bad as she feels if his expression is any indication as he bites his wrist, then whispers, "It's okay, I got you."

This time, the taste of blood in her mouth isn't her own, though she can't tell the difference. With it comes the lessening of pain until Bonnie finally has the strength to grip his wrist, pulling it from her mouth. Yet the relief she feels is short lived when Damon's eyes go wide as his neck twists at an unnatural angle and he goes limp beside her. Although she knows it's not permanent, Bonnie feels a spike of panic at the sight of him, lifeless on the ground.

"You know, it's too bad. If we were back in the prison world when I did this, you'd just wake

up in a few hours and you'd be fine," Kai says, a false note of regret in his voice, and her eyes lock on his face. "But now, well. Now it's gonna be a little more permanent, _Bon Bon_."

This time the panic that fills Bonnie has less to do with Damon, and more to do with the fact that his blood may have healed her wounds but it did nothing to replenish the magic Kai stole from her. It renders her helpless as he stalks toward her, even as she scrambles away from him. But there's nowhere for her to go as he grabs her arm tightly, squeezing hard enough to bruise as he takes the rest, draining the very life from her.

The only thing Bonnie can think of as the world fades to black around her is that she has Damon's blood coursing through her veins. And being a vampire is the last thing she's ever wanted to be.

* * *

No matter how many times he's experienced it, waking after having his neck snapped is always a jarring experience for Damon. Not quite the same as the first time he'd died and awoken in transition, but it leaves him disoriented in the same way as he takes his first breath, gasping his way back into the land of the living. It takes him a moment to register where he is and what happened, but once he does, he's on his feet in an instant.

Though there's barely enough light to see by, Damon knows exactly where to find her, crumpled in a shadowy heap near the cavern wall.

"Shit," Damon says under his breath as he kneels beside Bonnie, feeling for a pulse he already knows isn't there.

The lack of heartbeat is disconcerting, to say the least.

It's a sound he's gotten so used to in the past four months that the sudden loss of it makes him clench his jaw as he tries to keep himself in control. All he wants is to break something, but there's nothing for him to throw or destroy in the immediate vicinity. Just Bonnie, laying there, and the absolute last thing he wants is to do more harm to her than she's already experienced. All that's left is to try and revive her. From the first chest compression he knows it's a lost cause, but he doesn't stop until he accidentally does break something.

The sound of a rib cracking, too loud in the quiet, causes his hands to freeze.

"Damn it, Bonnie," he mutters, "This wasn't how this was supposed to happen."

Damon knows it's his fault. If he'd been stronger, faster, _better _he could have killed Kai and been done with it. Then none of this would have happened. Bonnie would still be alive and annoying him the way she always did. Which wouldn't even matter because at least she'd be breathing. At least her heart would still be beating while she gave him a hard time or made terrible jokes. Hell, even if she were yelling at him. Damon would take anything over this.

In a way, it's like Elena all over again.

Part of Damon recognizes this for the opportunity it is, a chance for Bonnie to still live although the life has been drained from her. To explore the world in ways she would never have been able to before, go farther, see more, experience life more intensely and for longer. And selfishly, he sees it as a chance for him not to lose having her in his life. Their friendship having become deep and strong during their time together, so much so that the thought of not having her around fills him with an indescribable sadness.

But another part of him sees this for what it truly is. A real tragedy because it means she'll never be the person she's always wanted to be. No getting to hold her newborn baby in her arms for the first time, no growing old and grey while she watches her grandkids grow up. Perhaps more importantly, no magic. Damon knows what magic means to her, watched her struggle with trying to get it back in the prison world, listened to her tell him about how she feared she'd never get it back at all, forever cut adrift from the bond to nature like she had been as a ghost and the anchor. That, too, makes him hurt for her. And that's the pain that's worse, really.

Staring down at her, Damon isn't sure how to proceed. When he'd died the anti-magic boundary had been firmly in place, and he has no idea what might have happened in the time since. His first instinct is to try and take her home. To the place they've spent so much time together that he's begun to think of it as her home too, but he has no idea if it's even accessible. Leaving her behind while he checks is not an option, considering he has no idea when she will wake up in transition, and he refuses to take the risk of having her accidentally kill someone. Which really only leaves one option.

Damon brushes back the hair from her face before picking her up, pretending for a moment she's just sleeping. Bonnie is light in his arms, easy to carry. Would be even if he'd been human. Now, all he has to do is find a phone, call his brother, and get her somewhere safe.

* * *

Just as she's dipping her foot into the warm water of her bath, Caroline's phone buzzes on the counter across the bathroom. Briefly she debates ignoring it, but the night has gone so terribly so far, she feels it would be irresponsible of her not to answer. A dozen scenarios play in her mind, each worse than the one before, as she stands there arguing with herself. Finally, she sighs and grabs her robe, slipping it on as she walks toward the lit screen of her phone in the semi darkness the lit candles produce.

Once she's close enough to see it's _Stefan_ calling, all she wants to do is pretend she didn't see it, to escape into the comfort her bath is sure give her and forget all the worries this horrible day has brought her. But she can't bring herself to ignore it.

"You better be calling to apologize," she says instead of hello. "Because otherwise, whatever you're calling for is _so_ not worth you disrupting my bath."

"Trust me, Caroline, you're not going to care that I interrupted your bath."

Something in Stefan's tone makes Caroline frown, her free hand fiddling with the end of her robe's belt nervously. Of course something else had happened, and from his tone it was something bad. Really bad. Worse than Ivy being caught by Tripp bad. Worse than Tyler plowing through a corn maze and almost killing a dozen different people bad. Closing her eyes, Caroline sighs and counts to ten silently, all the while wondering how it is that _this_ has become her life.

"Caroline?"

"Yeah, I'm here," she says quickly, tipping her head to the side so she can hold the phone between her ear and shoulder as she tightens the belt around her waist. "Just tell me, Stefan. It can't be any worse than what I'm already picturing."

There's a soft exhalation of air on the other end of the line, the sound of Stefan sighing, like he's bracing himself to tell her and all Caroline can think is how much she wants for this not to be happening.

"Bonnie and Damon are back," he says simply, and Caroline almost drops the phone as she grabs the counter to keep her knees from giving out on her.

"What?" she asks, the single word trembling. Because this is not the voice of someone who is happy their brother and friend are back from the dead. This is the voice of someone who is steeling himself to deliver bad news. "What's wrong? Why isn't this good news, Stefan?"

"We should tell you in person," he says slowly, like he wants to tell her now but isn't sure where to start. It only serves to make her feel frustrated as tiny knots begin to form in her stomach, making her feel sick.

"No, you tell me now. Why isn't it good news that they're back?" Caroline needs to know.

"Something happened after they got back. Bonnie died with Damon's blood in her system," Stefan tells her after a few seconds of silence, letting the words sink in before he continues, "She hasn't woken up yet. I thought it might be better if you were here with her when she did."

This time, the phone does drop from Caroline's hand, hitting the floor with a cracking noise that tells her it's probably broken. But she doesn't care about her phone, or that she's no longer going to be enjoying her bath. She doesn't care that Ivy was captured by Tripp and might be already dead, or that Tyler almost triggered his damn werewolf curse for the second time. All she can hear is Stefan's voice in her head, repeating the words _Bonnie died_ _with Damon's blood in her system_ over and over again.

It's a nightmare come true, because Bonnie was supposed to be the one who truly got to live. The last of them that could get the true _human_ happy ending. Now it's gone, and Caroline doesn't quite know how to process the information as she bends to retrieve her phone, moving on autopilot. On the other end she can hear Stefan saying her name, the sound telling her that even though the screen is cracked, it's still working.

"Caroline?" he asks again.

"Just tell me where you are," she says, not bothering to fight back the tears anymore.

* * *

"This is my fault," Damon says from where he's standing, near the doorway leading into the room where Bonnie lays on the couch as they wait for her to wake in transition. "I should have killed him. Then this wouldn't have happened."

"This isn't anyone's fault but Kai's," Stefan counters, causing Caroline to shoot him an annoyed look like she doesn't agree that it isn't Damon's fault. It's a mild improvement, at least, from the crying mess she'd been when she'd first arrived. "I, for one, am glad she had your blood in her system." He leaves off the, _it means she's not gone for good_, though it's implied by his tone.

"Why? This isn't what she wants!" Damon's voice is too loud and it puts Stefan on edge to the point that he's clenching a hand into a fist on the arm of the chair he's sitting in.

"This isn't what any of us wanted, Damon," Caroline whirls on him, giving him a death stare as she says, "But you know what? It happened, so the only thing we can do now is help her get through this. Because this isn't about _you_ and whatever guilt you _might_ be feeling over the part you played in this. It's about _her_. And Stefan's right. She's still here, and maybe we should just be happy about that."

Stefan feels like he should intervene, change the subject, do anything to get the two of them to stop glaring daggers at each other.

"I'm not making this about me," Damon protests, to which Caroline makes a sound of impatience. "I'm _not_," his voice is harder this time, "I'm also not going to stand here and pretend like this isn't a goddamn fucking tragedy."

"No one here is saying it isn't!" Caroline snaps, this time taking a step toward him that has Stefan readying to get between them if need be. "It's hard and it sucks, and I probably understand better than you what she's going to be going through when she wakes up. You're what? Close to two hundred? You've had _time_ to grieve the loss of your human life. I bet you've forgotten what that's even like. But I'm still grieving mine. _I get it_. So don't sit here and talk to me like I don't understand what a big deal this is!"

"Don't pretend like you know me, Blondie," Damon's voice is cold and sharp, the edge of a blade as he narrows his eyes at Caroline.

"Then don't pretend like you actually care about Bonnie," Caroline crosses her arms over her chest, daring him to disagree with her, "Elena's not here. Save your performance for when she is."

At this, Stefan rises to his feet, finally stepping between them. Although he doesn't know the full story about what happened in the prison world Damon and Bonnie were in, he knows his brother well enough to know the grief in his eyes is real. Certainly not an act meant to garner favor with anyone. Stefan also knows Damon well enough to know he won't take kindly to having Caroline belittle the friendship he's formed with Bonnie. People have died for less in the past.

"Alright, obviously this is a situation that has everyone on edge and is making certain people say things they wouldn't under normal circumstances," he gives Caroline a slightly reprimanding look before continuing, "Let's just take a few minutes to calm down and concentrate on what's really important here. That Bonnie has a safe place to transition. So can we please save the arguments for later?"

"Don't get mad at me for being honest," Caroline scoffs. "They're not even friends. Bonnie doesn't even_ like_ him. The only reason he cares is because of _Elena_, and you know it. So maybe," she returns the look with raised eyebrows, "If you really wanted a safe place for her to transition, he wouldn't be here."

Damon watches her with his jaw clenched, a murderous expression on his face that Stefan assesses in a matter of seconds as meaning things are going to hell quicker than expected.

"Hey," he says turning his full attention on his brother. "Think about Bonnie. What does she need when she wakes up? Does she need this? You two fighting? No, she doesn't. So just think about Bonnie, okay?" The words feel strange, because never in a million years would Stefan have thought that the way to get his brother to calm down would be to plead for him to focus on the witch lying in the other room. Further proof that Caroline is probably unwilling to see due to her own grief.

And whether she wants to accept it or not, it does the trick, though the storm doesn't pass from Damon's eyes as he crosses his own arms over his chest, retreating to the window where he watches Caroline like he's waiting for the opportune moment to go for the kill.

* * *

With a gasp Bonnie sits up, blinking rapidly at the bright light in the room. Nothing looks familiar and she has no idea how she got there, or where she even is. Somewhere she can hear voices arguing, but they're muffled, the words unclear though the tone of each is harsh and full of anger. Then suddenly, they come into sharp clarity with, "You know as well as I do Elena and Jeremy should be here. Hell, even Matt and Tyler should be!"

Frowning, Bonnie steadies herself on the couch as she shifts so her feet are touching the floor. The voice is very clearly Caroline's, but that's _impossible_ considering she's been trapped in a prison world with Damon for months now and the last thing she remembers - well, the last thing she remembers is fuzzy. Kai being there, underground with her and Damon. Things get blurry about the time she remembers her fingertips touching the cold metal of the ascendant. And trying to remember is making her head hurt.

"Caroline?" she calls out, pushing all thoughts of remembering aside, and in an instant the house goes silent.

Before she can even think about what to do next, Caroline is standing in front of Bonnie, wide-eyed and looking like she's on the verge of tears. Behind her are Stefan and Damon, and all it takes is one look at the latter for the memories to come rushing back in full, vivid detail.

Bonnie feels her own eyes widen as her body tenses, her chest heaving as she struggles to breathe normally all the while _feeling_ Kai's hands on her, draining her magic away. Magic that she realizes she can no longer feel at all. It leaves her gripping the edge of the couch's cushion with both her hands as she swallows hard, her eyes locked on the coffee table in front of her and the magazine on it. A National Geographic with a tornado on the cover. Focusing on that and the words printed across help her calm down. Slightly.

"Bonnie," Caroline says softly, coming forward slowly, like she's not sure what to expect if she gets too close.

"I died?" The question hangs in the air for several seconds, as if no one in the room is quite sure how to answer it, which is really all the answer Bonnie needs. A tear falls down her cheek but she wipes it away a little too roughly as she finally looks up at them.

"Bon, I -" Damon starts to speak but Caroline cuts him off.

"Why are you still here?" she demands, glaring at him, and Bonnie can't help but be taken aback by the pure aggression in those five words.

Her first instinct is to reproach Caroline, But Stefan steps forward, clasping a hand on Damon's shoulder as he leans close to whisper in his brother's ear. Bonnie doesn't catch the words, the transition perhaps being too new for her to have developed enhanced hearing that actually _works _when she wants it to, rather than randomly like it had before. A frown settles on Damon's face as he gives Bonnie a long look, then shrugs off Stefan's hand and follows him from the room. Leaving her alone with Caroline.

It should make her happy. And part of Bonnie is indescribably happy. But it's weighed down by the knowledge that she died. A fact made all too real by the utter disconnect she feels with the world around her. There's no tingle inside her, no flow of energy going from nature into her. She is severed from magic, just like she'd been when she died before. Like she'd been when she was the anchor, and for _months_ in the prison world as she'd tried and tried to regain what she'd lost.

Only this time, it wouldn't matter if Kai threatened to kill someone she cared about, because there would be no flame she could ever hope to rekindle on any candle now.

Blinking back more tears, Bonnie avoids Caroline's gaze, not sure what do or say. This isn't how their reunion was supposed to happen. All the times she'd daydreamed about it, there'd never been anything like this. Instead there'd always been smiles, tight hugs, and lots of _happy_ tears as they refused to let go of each other. But _this_, this was the farthest from that there could be. It breaks Bonnie's heart to have it this way.

When Caroline sits beside her on the couch, twining their fingers together so she can hold Bonnie's hand, there's no stopping the flood of tears from either of them as she's pulled into a hug.

"It's okay," Caroline whispers, voice breaking a little, a hand rubbing up and down Bonnie's back. "It's okay. You're home. I'm here. I'm right here."

But Bonnie knows _nothing_ about this is okay.

* * *

Damon's frustration at being effectively herded out and blocked from being with Bonnie just after she wakes up is at an all time high. Across the room Stefan is watching him with a carefully guarded expression that only serves to tell him his little brother thinks he might do something reckless. Like severing a certain blonde vampire's head from her body. Which, of course, no one has to worry about happening. Maybe he'd knock her down a few pegs, but truth is he actually thinks he might miss her nagging if she ever were to truly die. Though he'd die himself before ever admitting it out loud.

An unfortunate side-effect of having her be not only Elena's best friend, but Stefan's too. He's gotten used to having her around. And as he's already killed one of his brother's best friends, he isn't exactly looking to up the number any time soon. Not to mention the vampire Barbie holds a special place in Bonnie's heart he's not willing to mess with.

All the same, at the moment, Caroline is the sole obstacle in Damon making sure Bonnie is okay. And by the sound of it, she's far from it. The crying coming from the other room has him counting in his head the numerous ways he'd like to kill Kai. Ranging from the mundane to the rather creative, if he does say so himself. It does little to calm him down, but it does keep him from wanting to ignore Stefan's request that they give the girls some time before going back in. Which is more for Bonnie's sake than because his brother asked him, as Damon knows all too well just how much she's missed her friends.

So even if he wants to butt in, he won't. A small act of respect for someone he's come to consider one of his closest friends.

"Stop looking at me like that," he tells Stefan impatiently, "I'm not going to do anything."

"Right. And I'll believe that… never," the reply comes with a skeptical expression that causes Damon to make a face.

They have a staring contest that Stefan wins, only because Damon gets tired of looking at his brother's face, turning instead to stare out the window at the dark street outside. Which is good in the sense that there will be less sunlight for Bonnie to become sensitive to as the transition progresses. It's not much in terms of being more comfortable, but it's better than having the entire strength of the sun beating down on the world around them as she slowly realizes the intensity that comes with transition. Sensitivity to light and sound. The thirst for blood.

Things that will come soon enough, and only get worse the longer she waits to take her first drink of human blood to complete the turn.

"So, are you going to call them or am I?" Damon asks finally, unable to stand the silence in this room, or the sound of Bonnie and Caroline crying in the other.

"I'll do it," Stefan says quickly, and Damon tries not to clench his jaw at that. Because really, it should be _him_ calling his girlfriend, even if she apparently erased all her memories of them being together. But Stefan, as always, is quick to be the buffer in all situations that might be unpleasant. Damon is tempted to ignore him, but doesn't, as he continues, "And _just_ Elena. Bonnie doesn't need anyone else here right now. Not until she's… not until she's decided."

In other words, no humans. Damon turns quickly to eye his brother calculatingly.

"That almost sounded like you think she might choose to die," he says, not missing the way Stefan is refusing to meet his eyes.

"I don't think it's out of the realm of possibilities," the admission is followed by a raising of hands, like Stefan is trying to get ahead of Damon's anger and ward off any upset his words may have caused. "But I'm also not saying she's _not_ going to complete transition."

Damon wants to argue, wants to say that in no uncertain terms would Bonnie let herself die again, but he knows it's a lie. He _knows_ firsthand just how much she doesn't want to be a vampire, and perhaps that's why he's so eager to be with her now. Because if she's going to say goodbye to the world, he's damn well going to be at her side when she does, and he doesn't care what Caroline has to say about it. Or anyone, really.

More importantly, no matter how much he doesn't want her to choose death over becoming a vampire, Damon wants the decision to be hers and hers _alone_. His worry over this not so much because he thinks their friends would ever dare force feed her blood, but because he doesn't trust them to not make this situation about _them_. Framing it in a way that might make Bonnie think more about how her dying would affect them, rather than her own desires. He's selfish, but not _that selfish_.

And it's exactly the type of thing she'd do, drink blood and be miserable just so her friends don't have to mourn her yet again.

That makes Damon seethe. Makes him want to tear into the other room and keep Caroline at a distance so she doesn't inadvertently manipulate Bonnie into becoming one of them. Which of course wouldn't win him any points by either party. Thankfully, Stefan catches his attention before he does anything drastic, distracting him the moment Elena's name is uttered. Eyes locked on his brother, Damon doesn't care that he's eavesdropping in the slightest as her voice comes from the other line.

"Is he there still? I don't want to see him, Stefan," she says, and Damon has to resist the urge to smash the vase on the table beside him.

"Uh, yeah, he's here," Stefan casts a glance toward the window, notices he has Damon's full attention and turns his back, like that will do _anything_ to stop the conversation from being heard. "And I don't think he's going anywhere any time soon."

"Does Bonnie even want him there?" Elena asks, sounding mildly confused, and Damon wishes everyone would stop reacting that way. As if it's so goddamn impossible that he and Bonnie may have developed some semblance of a friendship during their time together.

Though maybe it wouldn't bother him so much if said other half of this friendship weren't literally _dying_ in the other room while everyone around him acted like he had no right at all to be with her.

"I don't know, Elena," Stefan at least has the decency to sound impatient. "Does it really matter if he's here?"

At this point, Damon doesn't care to listen anymore, trying his best not to acknowledge that his heart has been broken in two entirely different ways tonight. But he's never been good at not feeling. That's always been his problem, that he feels things too deeply, that he cares _too much_, even when he's done his damnedest over the years to make it seem like he barely even has a heart at all.

* * *

The moment Elena walks into the house, the subtle scent of blood permeates the room as the front door closes. Caroline knows Bonnie can smell it too, if the darkening of veins that appears beneath her eyes is any indication. Not to mention the sharp fangs Caroline catches a glimpse of when her friend's lips part as her breathing quickens, a natural reaction to the bloodlust that's coursing through her now that human blood is nearby.

Natural or not, a look of shame crosses Bonnie's face as she casts a quick glance in Caroline's direction before fixing her eyes on the floor.

"Hey, it's okay," Caroline says softly. "That's normal."

Bonnie doesn't respond, doesn't even glance in her direction before she gets up and moves to the far side of the room, as if putting distance between her and the scent of blood will make it easier. Caroline knows from experience that it won't. But at least it's safely packed away in blood bags, not being pumped through the veins of a living person. That, Caroline also knows from experience, is even harder to resist, especially during transition. This way, no one has to worry about Bonnie hurting someone.

More importantly, Bonnie won't have to carry the weight of having harmed someone with her for the rest of her life.

At least Elena has the forethought to leave the blood bags in the other room, joining them only a moment later, a hopeful look on her face as she looks first at Caroline, then Bonnie. A grin curves her lips and faster than Caroline can see, she's at Bonnie's side, enveloping her in a hug. They cling to one another tightly for several seconds before Elena pulls back, her hand holding Bonnie's as she leads her back toward the couch, not stopping into their friend is sandwiched between them.

"You have no idea how happy I am you're back," Elena says, a little tearfully as she bumps a shoulder gently into Bonnie's. "I'm so glad I don't have to have another funeral for you."

Elena misses it. Caroline doesn't. And neither does Damon who has suddenly joined them, leaning against the doorframe, his eyes locked on Bonnie as her hands squeeze together in her lap, a small sigh escaping her. All the while wearing a look of regret that makes Caroline feel so incredibly stupid. Not once did she ever truly consider that Bonnie might not complete transition. She's not sure if that makes her a terrible friend or not, but looking at Bonnie's face now, she knows with absolute certainty that it's a very real possibility.

Whatever Elena is still saying has gone completely unheard by Caroline, as she's still trying to process this development. But the cloudy expression on Damon's face has gotten darker, so she figures he's been listening all too intently. There's always a chance it has nothing to with the actual words and more to do with Elena's choice to erase her memories of him, but when his eyes slide back to Bonnie and remain there, Caroline frowns. Because the Damon she knows wouldn't have cared this much about Bonnie. Though she's not entirely unconvinced it's not an act meant to show Elena how much he cares about her friends, maybe some underhanded attempt to trigger underlying feelings of affection buried deep beneath the compulsion.

"Guys," Bonnie says suddenly, and Elena cuts off mid sentence. "Can I just - can I maybe have a minute?"

There's a beat of silence in which Caroline catches Elena's eye, noting the mildly confused look. Like Elena can't understand why Bonnie would need a minute without them. It's a confusion Caroline feels as well, because as far as she's concerned, Bonnie needs the two of them more than ever right now. But she stands all the same, giving Bonnie's shoulder a gentle squeeze before she turns to go, Elena on her heels. Damon, on the other hand, doesn't bother moving, simply lets them pass, his eyes lingering on Elena before he steps into the room to join Bonnie.

It takes real effort to squash the spike of jealousy that rears up when Caroline glances back and sees that instead of asking him to leave too, Bonnie lets him join her on the couch and _leans against_ _him_ for support.

* * *

One look at Caroline and Stefan wants to turn around and go right back outside, use the excuse of needing some air in order to escape whatever he's about to step into the center of. She wears such a look of offense that he can practically feel the outrage that must be building inside her, waiting to be released. He can only assume it has something to do with his brother. Thankfully, she appears to be biting her tongue, even as she shoots surreptitious glances toward the other room from where she sits at the dining room table.

"Did I miss something?" Elena asks in a hushed tone, rising from the table to join him as he washes his hands at the sink. "I mean, I know my memory isn't exactly reliable in all things Damon related, but they aren't friends, right?"

Stefan shrugs, making a noncommittal noise because he's not sure exactly how to answer the question.

"Of course they're not," Caroline interjects, the words too quick, too defensive. "He's trying to gain some points for his Show Elena I'm Not a Monster plan. Obviously."

"I don't know," Elena starts to say, then stops frowning as she mulls it over. Stefan says nothing as he dries his hands before opening the fridge.

The blood bags are tucked behind several bottles of beer, waiting for Bonnie to decide if she wants to have any, if she wants to take that giant step forward and commit herself to a lifetime of needing someone else's blood in order to survive. The mere sight of them twists something inside him, causing him to mourn the life she's lost, the lives they've all lost, really. But it's not something he wants to dwell on at the moment. Grabbing one of the beers he glances over at Caroline and Elena.

"You want one?" he asks, holding up his so they can see what he's offering. Not generally the drink of choice in a Salvatore household but Stefan isn't in a position to be picky.

Neither accepts, which is fine with him as he takes his time closing the fridge door and then opening his bottle. Anything to give him an excuse to be busy and not have to acknowledge the elephant in the room that is Caroline's issues with Damon being alone with Bonnie. Something he doesn't want to touch with a ten foot pole until he actually understands the underlying dynamics between the two a little more.

Just as he glances at Caroline again, all three of them freeze at the sound of Damon's voice.

"Don't worry about them and what they want," the soft way he says it makes Stefan feel likes he's intruding on a private moment. Which, in a way, he is. But his curiosity has him exchanging looks with Caroline and Elena, as if all three are looking for permission to listen in as Damon continues in that same low tone, "What do you want Bonnie?"

There's a shaky deep inhale of breath, then a sniff like she's started crying again.

"I don't want this," she says after a moment of silence. "But I don't want to die either."

"Then don't," Damon tells her. "But make sure it's your choice. Not theirs."

A sigh from Caroline draws Stefan's attention, and when he looks at her he sees she has tears in her eyes again. Elena is sitting beside her, the two of them holding hands. And he feels even more like an intruder, like this moment isn't for him, just like the conversation between his brother and Bonnie isn't his to hear. It takes him all of two seconds to decide to step outside again, this time with the intention of calling the others. To let Matt, Tyler and Jeremy know she's back. Unable to fully justify keeping it from them anymore. Perhaps they should have been here from the start.

As he pauses at the door on his way out, Stefan hears Bonnie whisper again, "I don't want to die like this."

"So don't," Damon tells her again, and Stefan hopes that means when he comes back in she'll have decided to live.


End file.
